What is Your Child’s Love Language?

love-languages.jpgI’m reading the book called The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.  A friend of mine let me borrow it and it really has been interesting.  If you are unfamiliar with the “5 love languages” they are specific ways that people need to be loved.  According to the authors, each person has their own unique love language that needs to be demonstrated to them by others for them to feel loved.  It is important in relationships such as spouse to spouse or parent to child to learn which style of communication your spouse/child needs in order to meet their emotional needs.

The five love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  You can usually distinguish your child’s love language by asking them, “How do you know Mommy loves you?”  The kids that say, “Because she tells me I’m a good singer” etc. usually fall into the category of “words of affirmation” as a love language.  The kids that say, “Because she hugs me all the time” etc. might fall into the “physical touch” love language.  I asked my 5 year old how she knew that I loved her and she said, “Because you play with me and color with me.”  I’m learning that her love language is probably quality time.  The times that I put my agenda aside and play with her or just spend time with her are the times when she is most affectionate and happy.  Another thing this book is teaching me about my daughter is that when she doesn’t feel “loved” by not getting quality time she will misbehave just to get the attention she needs.  VERY TRUE!

We tend to love each-other the way we want to be loved but that isn’t necessarily what our kids need.  Check out this book and find out what your child’s love language.  It might just help you love and parent them a little better.


Share a Story #5

siblings.jpgThank you Minka for this funny post! I have to admit I have followed it to a tee!

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

_____________________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month ______________________________________________________

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Continue Reading


Book Review-The Kite Runner

the-kite-runner.jpgI just finished the next book from our book club.   It was the Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.  The book, in short, is about a boy who grows up in Afghanistan who later moves with his father to America to escape the war.  I was a little hesitant to read this book because I was under the impression that it was all about war, violence, and tragedy and that’s just not enjoyable reading to me.  There is a share of violence and tragedy in the book but it ends up really being a beautiful, captivating story about love and redemption.  There were unpredictable twists throughout the whole book that kept me reading on through the night.  I’m so glad that this book was on our book club’s reading list because I would not have picked it up on my own.  I highly recommend reading the Kite Runner.  If you have read this book already I would love to hear your thoughts!


DVD Players in Cars

dvd-player.jpgFor road trips with the kids a DVD player in the car can save the day.   But what about when you are riding a mile up the road just to pick up some milk and bread and your kids are crying for a movie because just looking out the window is boring!  So, here is my question.  DVD players in cars, love them or hate them?  Leave me a comment and tell me what you think.


Family Car

mazda5.jpgEver since I was young I always said I would never own a minvan.  There seems to be no way of driving one without getting labeled with the frumpy soccer mom image.  It is of course all about image, isn’t it?  Well I ate my words a couple years ago and bought a van.  My husband and I were looking for something a little roomier than a car with both of the girls in carseats.  We came across a Nissan Quest and I just loved it.  About a year and a half after purchasing the van we got rear-ended and the van ended up being totalled.  We really splurged on the van and got everything from leather heated seats, multiple sunroofs, and two t.v. screens.  Can we say spoiled?  Well after the van was gone we decided to be a bit more “practical” and try to lower our monthly car payments.  We got a Dodge Durango.  Not a smart decision.  Our monthly payment was lower but filling it up with gas throughout the month has put us right back into the “spending obscenely too much on a car” bracket.  Sooooooooooo, on to the whole point of this blog.  I found the perfect car!  It is a Mazda 5.  You have to check it out.  They are so cute and sporty (uh..hm..image thing again), they have sliding doors (no more dings and dents into everything we park next to from my children trying to open their 100 pound doors), they seat 6 (I’ve blogged recently about my husband wanting more babies, right?), and it’s really fairly priced.   Read this review from CNN.  This writer doesn’t like the style as much as me but he has some good things to say.

Anybody want to buy a Dodge Durango??


Share a Story #4

mom.jpg From Krista in Maryland:

Mean Moms

Someday when my children are old enough to
   understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
   tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
   enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom,
   and what time you would be home.

   I loved you enough to be silent and let you
  discover that your new best friend was a creep.

  I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
   while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

  I loved you enough to let you see anger,
  disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
  learn that their parents aren’t perfect.

  I loved you enough to let you assume the
  responsibility for your actions even when the
  penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

   But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
   NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

   Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m
   glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
   And someday when your children are old enough to
   understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

   Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
   meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
   ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.


 
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.


  
 And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
  different from what other kids had, too.

   Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
   times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison. She
   had to know who our friends were, and what we were
   doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
   would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

   We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
   to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work We
   had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
   cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
   and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
   awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

   She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
   whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
   we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
   eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

  Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn
  when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
  so she could meet them. While everyone else could
  date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16 .

   Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
 things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
 been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s
  property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

  Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
 honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
   parents just like Mom was.

   I think that is what’s wrong with the world today.
   It just doesn’t have enough mean moms!


Who is teaching your children?

teaching.jpgI was sitting at storytime with my kids yesterday watching them make a craft and I noticed that my 2-year-old didn’t know how to use the scissors.  The little girl next to her knew how to use them so I started thinking, “Is my child behind?  Why can’t she do it too?  Her sister can!”  Then I realized that her sister learned in preschool.  Actually a lot of what she knows is from preschool and kindergarten.  My kids pick up songs from t.v., bible stories from church, reading and writing from school, etc. but as parents we cannot let this be their only avenues for learning!

My mom recently got back from a conference for Sunday school teachers and said that a woman stated that parents are too dependent on the church to teach their kids about God and morality and so they decide to forgo these lessens at home.  I feel like some parents including myself are doing the same with school teachers too.  We need to be more proactive in teaching our children and not just rely only on their “teachers” to do it.

So start today.  Teach your two-year-old (if they are ready) how to use scissors and do an art project together, if your kids don’t know how to ride a bike yet try to accomplish that with them this spring, and read them Bible stories at bedtime.  Kids are like little sponges just waiting for opportunities to soak up knowledge and information.  Take the opportunity to be a teacher to them everyday.  Your kids will love getting your attention and time and their teachers will appreciate it too.


Share a Story #3

i-owe-my-mother.jpgToday’s “Share a Story” is from Shannon, a stay-at-home mother of 2.  Thanks Shannon!

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to
the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t
have
wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
“When that lawn mower cuts off
your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”


Write it Down!

journaling.jpgI’ve posted before about journaling to remember all your cutie pie’s sweet and funny sayings but I am writing about it again today as a reminder to you!  As moms we get so BUSY with our daily routines then evening roles around and we are even busier with dinner, homework, bath-time, bedtime, etc. and by the end of it we are ready to collapse.  Really though if you can find 5-10 minutes at the end of your day just to jot down a few memories from the day’s events it is so worth it.  Last night my journal entry went something like this:

“Lilly bullied around Lucy again all day and Lucy bullied around the puppy which made for another day of tears and time-outs.  Oh the joys of being stuck inside on a cold rainy day.  I did get to spend some extra cuddle time with Lilly at bedtime which seemed to settle her down and bring out “Nice Lilly” again.  I walked downstairs to hear Rob asking Lucy to get him a beer out of the fridge while he was watching the NCAA tourney.  I watched her walk to the fridge, open it up, then proudly bring her dad a bottle of soy sauce.  He was so enthralled in the big Duke upset that he almost popped it open and took a gulp.  I have to admit that would have made a great ending to this rainy day.”

That took me 5 minutes and when Lucy is a teenager I can pull out my journal and show her these silly things she did when she was two.  Believe me, if I didn’t write them down, this great stuff would be lost forever in the complex cobwebs of my brain.

I love this mommy’s post that captures a sweet moment with her daughter.  It’s really not hard gals, grab a journal and get started.


Books and Music for Preschoolers

reading.jpgWe had a great MOPS meeting this month about the importance of music and literacy to children, especially the younger ones.  We had a  preschool teacher and a librarian both talk about not only the benefits of both books and music with kids but they also shared great ideas on how to get your kids involved in both at home.

The preschool teacher was a hoot.  She burned a cd and had all the MOPS moms stand up and follow her in the hand motions and dances.  I was sitting in the back of the room running sound and it was hysterical watching all these young moms, some big and pregnant, twirling in circles and playing air guitar.  It was silly but inspiring.  I have to admit when I got home I threw the cd in the cd player, called my girls in the room and started doing the dance routines.  They both sat on the couch and stared at me like I had lost my mind.  I don’t even think they cracked a smile.  I really think they were worried about my mental health.  But everyday since then my 5 year old has put the cd in and led her sister in all the dance moves.  She had remembered every single one from watching me that night.  And what little kid doesn’t like to dance?  What a great way to learn rhythm and just exercise!

The librarian was wonderful and brought along a whole bunch of kids books to demonstrate what kids really like, fun ways to get them involved in the reading, and the benefits of reading to your children everyday.  Here are 5 easy steps she shared with us for reading to your children:

  1. Pick the best time.  A time when you and your child are in a good mood. (Good luck with that one!)
  2. Show your child the book.  Point to the pictures and talk naturally and cheerfully.
  3. Talk and have fun.  Remember to touch and love your child the whole time.
  4. Watch what your child does.  Let your child play with the book if he/she wants to and stop for awhile if she/he gets upset.
  5. Share a book with your child every day.  Even just a few minutes a day is important.

Sometimes I get frustrated when my kids interrupt me while I am reading to them by asking all kinds of silly questions about different things on the page but apparently that is how they learn.  Let them ask questions, turn pages, find letters, etc.  They will be much more willing to let you read to them again the next time.  We have storytime at our local libraries and I’m sure most libraries offer it.  My kids get to go every week and hear new stories and pick out new books.  They have their own library bags with their names on them that they wear on their shoulders proudly until of course they stuff them full and I end up with both of them.  🙂

Here are some great resources that you can try.  Have fun!

Websites for preschool music:

Books for preschoolers:

  • If You’re Happy and You Know It-Jane Cabrera
  • Wiggle-Doreen Cronin
  • Dog’s Colorful Day-Emma Dodd
  • Where is the Green Sheep?-Mem Fox
  • My Book Box-Will Hillenbrand
  • I Like it When-Mary Murphy
  • Lulu’s Busy Day-Caroline Uff