Free Range Kids

Posted by Cindy

August 11, 2008 | 2 Comments

photo credit: leslielynnm
Surfing the web I found this story out of India and fell in love with it. The story, Born To Be Free, is about some parents who have chosen a more “free range” parenting style with their kids. No pressure, nagging, or trying to fit them into pre-designed boxes. It’s about letting the kids be kids and learning to love their uniqueness.

Today, children fuelled by their parents’ ambitions, race for high grades, early fame, prize money, a platinum edged future. Yet there are parents, not too many but a few who decide to treat their children with sensitivity and respect and do not asphyxiate their uniqueness. Who redefine parenting and let their children show them the way rather than the other way around.

You have to read the entire time to really get an understanding of what these parents do. I have known similar parents who have been accused of non-parenting, of being lazy, of being neglectful. There is a fear that some have that without constant rules and structure kids will turn into feral animals. Yet many kids have every aspect of their lives mapped out, with little to no free time to learn how to be themselves. There isn’t as much time for soul searching in the back seat on the way from soccer to dance. But there is when climbing trees and drawing pictures is all that’s on the day’s schedule.

One of my favorite blogs, Tiny Grass, is written by two parents who really get that “let them be free” philosophy. As Arp explained in a recent post, it’s a good deal about the mindset.

The premise is simple: there are two mindsets. The fixed mindset views abilities and talents as carved in stone, creating a need to prove yourself repeatedly. That’s what school teaches, with constant tests and labels (positive & negative). The growth mindset is that your qualities and abilities can be developed through effort. If you don’t do something well, it’s an opportunity for learning and growth. It’s really the basic belief that you can learn. Maintaining the joy of learning is what this is all about.

With school starting back up and a large chuck of your children’s time being taken away to school, homework, and group activities take some time to look at how much freedom they have. Are they getting enough moments to just be?

Comments

2 Comments so far

Christopher Waldrop on August 11, 2008 10:53 am
I’ve noticed the obsessive structuring of their kids’ time that some parents do, pushing their children to be more, accomplish more, and fill up every spare minute with some kind of organized activity designed to mold them into future super-beings, and I’ve wondered what kind of effect it has on the kids when they have a free moment or when, as they get older, they’re expected to take some responsibility for filling their time. Allowing them some “free range” time gives them a chance to learn how to occupy themselves without having to rely on someone else telling them what to do.
Leslie on August 24, 2008 1:08 pm
This is a great point and something I think all parents need to see. At the very least, it makes us re-think things and examine what we are doing to our children. We all need to do that from time to time…likely much more often than we care to recognize.
And thanks for the photo pick up. You picked a great “free range” child to represent the article. She is certainly that.
Regards,
Leslie