Apr

28

Don’t Freak Out, Mommy!

Posted by Commander Mommy

April 28, 2008 |

As a mother, I get little glimpses of myself through the eyes of my children every day. Unfortunately, it isn’t always flattering.

Last month, we invited Honored Friend and her children over for dinner. As my boys were unloading the dishwasher, I snuck off to change my shirt before the guests arrived. Before I could even get the shirt over my head, I heard a knock on the door. It was my oldest son who, by some genetic mutation, has the freakish ability to tell when I’m only half-dressed and suddenly “needs” to talk to me. His brother, by the way, has a similar genetic disorder that hones in on those times when I’m in the bathroom or on the phone. They both have an overwhelming urge to rescue me from any stolen moments of peace through out the day. As I understand it, this is somewhat common malady that can affect children well into their teen years.

Back to the story…

Little Man, in the confident and high-timbered voice of a first grader, solemnly informed me (through the bedroom door) that he could now put away the glasses. Normally, I’m the one who puts those away. The layout of the kitchen just doesn’t allow for me to keep everything where they can reach. Glassware seemed the logical choice for something kept up high. Today, though, Little Man told me that he could reach them without a chair, without climbing on the cabinets, and without breaking anything (I know because I asked). After listening to his little speech I wasn’t sure how to respond and, while I stood there wrestling with my shirt, he took matters into his own hands.

“Mommy, I’m just going to put them up this time.”

“What?” I asked quickly, trying to stall for time, “Are you sure you can do that?”

“Yes, Mommy. I’m going to put them up.” He stood there in silence for another beat and then, before I could think of a reason to protest, he added, “Now don’t freak out. Okay, Mommy?”

And he had me. Such an adult thing for him to say, too. I wasn’t certain whether I should be amused or offended. Why in the world would he say that to me?

“Mommy, did you hear me? Don’t freak out when you see the glasses put away.”

Oh yeah. Because I would have freaked out. Truth be told, I was on the verge of freaking out during the conversation. If I had come back into the kitchen and found the glasses already put away, I would have third degree’d those boys!

What are these doing up here? Who did this? Who put these glasses away? You? Your brother? Answer me! Did you get a chair? WHAT? Then you climbed on my counter??!! Do you know how dangerous that was? What do you mean you didn’t climb on my counter? There’s no way you could reach that! Oh yeah? Show me. … Oh. …. Okay. … I guess you can reach it. MmmmKay. Sorry. Just, erm, ask next time. K?

“Okay, Honey. You can do it.”

Do I always freak out about stuff like this? Looking back, I think I do. I never considered myself a ‘freak out’ kind of mom (that was always my Aunt Linda, not me!), but I guess I am. I recall a time last fall when Little Man came home from school with grass stains on his jeans and a serious, apologetic confession to accompany them. When I assured him it was ‘okay,’ he was stunned. He blurted out, “You mean you aren’t mad?”

I tried to explain to him that I understood when things were accidents and when they could have been prevented (wiping his messy face on his sleeves instead of on the napkin, anyone?) but the look on his face told me that it never mattered to me before, at least as far as he understood. Apparently, I should work on my mommy/kid communication skills, too.

In retrospect, I really do sweat the small stuff more than I like to admit. So, the solution is clear: Commander Mommy needs a chill pill.

It is funny how simple moments become epiphanies that shine a spotlight on flaws we didn’t even know we had. Thank goodness for these moments, too. I’d rather ‘discover’ these imperfections now, while there is still time to do something about them!


Comments

3 Comments so far

  1. Linterambiel on April 28, 2008 9:24 pm

    Luckily we have children around to remind us sometimes how to let go of the little things that shouldn’t really bug us, but that often do.

  2. Wayne L. Christensen on May 3, 2008 1:44 pm

    Great job! I am glad to see that you are continuing on and I hope loving every moment. Children bring us our greatest rewards and also our greatest challenges.

    Happy Writing,
    Wayne

  3. chopperpops on May 9, 2008 8:37 am

    Where was this wisdom when I was raising my own? I spent their entire childhood freaking out! I’m learning to do better with the grandsons, but grumpy is a by-word associated with this old guy.

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