I wanted to say thanks

Posted by Commander Mommy

July 26, 2007 |

This is my entry for the July Group Writing Project over at MamaBlogga. The theme for this month is “Thanks Mom”. So here goes…

My own mother and I were never close. She had me too young and was not ready to give up her lifestyle yet. In fact it took until she was in her 30’s and on death’s door before she gave up that wild life she had loved. As a child my mother was never around, and when she was she was usually drunk and abusive. She towered over me, screaming and raising her fist, and I was terrorfied. Now she can barely lift her arm, she’s become withered and shrunken, her own body failing her more and more each day.

But this is supposed to be a thank you. I will admit, those two words are hard to say to my mother. The few moments of love and kindness seem too insignifigent to be worth a thank you. The few things I was grateful for as a child now seem so cruel and empty. So what in thw world could I say thank you for?

Then I see my own sons. They are laughing, driving toy cars across the room, squealing with delight when one of them manages to startle a cat. And I know what I want to say thank you for. For being alive. For being here, for the chance to grow up, to become an adult, and to have children of my own. Every moment they smile is a moment that I am grateful to be their mom.

So thank you mother. For creating me and giving me life. For giving me the chance to know my sons. For that, I am thankful.

Comments

17 Comments so far

Robin on July 27, 2007 12:29 am
It sounds like you overcame an awful lot to become a good and loving mother to your children. I know they’ll have a much easier time finding something to say thank you for.
Jordan (MamaBlogga) on July 28, 2007 10:49 pm
I’m glad you were able to find something good in a difficult relationship.

Thanks for participating!
July GWP Days Four and Five | MamaBlogga on July 29, 2007 10:35 pm
[…] I wanted to say thanks by Summer […]
Sara on July 29, 2007 11:31 pm
That would have pushed me, quite possibly to the point of just not participating in the theme….good for you for pushing through and finding something. *hugs*
Corey on July 30, 2007 12:41 am
I believe in your post whole heartedly. I did not suffer abuse, but your final thought is so very true. We owe our mothers so very much just for having the opportunity to be a mother ourselves. I wasn’t until I became a mother that I really started living.
Thank you for shring so much of your heart.
summershine on July 30, 2007 8:57 am
It’s very big of you to recognize something to be thankful for out of such a turbid relationship.
Kymberlyn on July 30, 2007 10:05 am
Sometimes our gifts in life come out of our trials. You mother’s absence of love has given you an abundance of love for your own children. That is a blessing for both you and your family. Thank you for sharing.
Mama Bloggas July Group Writing Project Links. at Mommy Zabs on July 30, 2007 3:28 pm
[…] I wanted to say thanks by Summer […]
Lynnae on July 30, 2007 3:38 pm
Bless your heart for being able to come up with something positive from your not-so-positive upbringing. I’m glad that you can be the mom that your mom never was.
July Writing Group… » The Life of a School Bus Driver! on July 30, 2007 4:07 pm
[…] I wanted to say thanks by Summer […]
July Group Writing Project Finale | MamaBlogga on July 30, 2007 7:39 pm
[…] I wanted to say thanks by Summer […]
Mama Bloggas July Group Writing Project Links. « homeschooling diva on July 30, 2007 7:44 pm
[…] I wanted to say thanks by Summer […]
MamaBlogga's Group Writing Project on July 30, 2007 7:46 pm
[…] I wanted to say thanks by Summer […]
Spreading the love « Musings of a southern girl at heart on July 30, 2007 10:19 pm
[…] I wanted to say thanks by Summer […]
southerngirlmusings on July 30, 2007 11:24 pm
Thanks for your honesty and your heart.
Links You Should Read :: Mommy Babble on July 31, 2007 10:12 am
[…] I wanted to say thanks by Summer […]
July Group Writing Project « Raising boys - and how they raise me! on July 31, 2007 5:28 pm
[…] I wanted to say thanks by Summer […]